Jokes

3 Logicians

Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks "Do all of you want a drink?" The first logician says, "I don't know." The second one says, "I don't know." The third one says, "Yes!"

A genie and an idiot

Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’

Off to work

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8.30!’ He replies. ‘Why? What happened at 8.30?’

Kid vs barber

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’

Q: What looks like a cat, flies like a bat, brays like a donkey, and plays like a monkey? A: Nothing.

“There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don’t.”

Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.

Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”

CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”

Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”

CS Guy: Ponders for a little while. “I put the house on fire and reduce it to a problem I’ve solved before.”